That Scattered Feeling

lighthouseIt’s been close to thirteen years since my diagnosis and as a whole, I think that I’ve done
pretty well…

Three surgeries…. Done, done, and done!

Radiation… Thirty-five and a lovely glow!

Infections… Staph, strep, and one that I never remembered the name, treated and done!

Depression… Treated and done with!

Scars… Went from devastated to entering contests for best scar and story!

Focus issues… Well, there are great days and then… I just love vanilla ice cream.

I can’t blame chemo brain because I didn’t have it, but I’ve been told that any long term crisis can create issues with concentration and focus. Before cancer, I never had issues with attention, but now I struggle to finish a book (And considering I read four to five at one time, it’s a miracle any are finished) or complete some projects. Organization is also a significant issue and I’m hoping that downsizing and decluttering my life will make a difference.

From what I’m reading this is all normal or our new “normal” and we just need to adapt.
For me, it’s become a struggle to keep track of important documents and this can often be disastrous. I’ve lost important papers that ended up costing outrageous late fees or worse. Everyday I struggle with this.

Downsizing and decluttering has become my hope to making it easier. I find that if I’m dealing with clutter and too much going on, I practically shut down and accomplish nothing. I’ll distract myself with the computer and basically do nothing, but veg out. Which is NEVER a good thing.

So, I have found that there are measures we can take to assist us staying on track and I’m going to share them with you.

  1. Try to eliminate as much paper and clutter, as humanly possible. I love recipes, but now only print when I KNOW that I’m going to make it within a couple of days. If not and I truly want to keep the recipe, I find a way to save it to a document and save it on the computer (make sure that you periodically purge these files, as to not waste computer memory).
  2. Start making a concerted effort to finish books and smaller tasks (one thing at a time!). This is one area I’ve been seriously pushing myself to small victories. It feels good when I complete one area and not juggling fifteen others.
  3. File, file, FILE! Don’t just lay it down, give it a home! Whether it be the filing cabinet or the trash, deal with it!
  4. Turn the computer off (This is my weakness and my greatest struggle). Walking away from the computer is a gift to yourself and allows you time to focus on the world around you.
  5. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’ve been through a lot and it takes time to get your footing with this new life. You may always have an issue with feeling scattered, but you can live with that and it will be fine.

We will get through this and feeling a bit scattered is a small thing in the scheme of life… We may never get rid of the feeling completely, but we can try to control the areas that add to the stresses we live with.

I’m a long way from being on top of it, but I’m moving in that direction. It’s taken thirteen years to grasp that what I’ve been doing isn’t working and that changes have to be made to make my life easier to deal with. I’ve been trying to juggle multiple blogs instead of choosing one and making it wonderful and all have suffered, but now I’m going to focus on this one and my passion for survivors. I’m going to focus on you and hopefully, something wonderful is about to happen. I’ll admit my failings and share my insanity, so you’ll see that we’ll all be just fine in the end.

I hope this has offered a little assistance or comfort in your life…

Have a wonderful week ahead.

Diet and Fitness for the Right Reasons…

Long term weight loss comes from the right inspiration…  The wrong inspiration might help you lose, but it may not keep you inspired enough to keep it off. Real and lasting inspiration has to be about you and your future, not that class reunion or that wedding, not your significant other or anyone else… It’s about doing what’s best for you.

As a survivor, you need to keep your health a priority and realize that if you don’t take care of you, no one else can. Balance is key and remembering that this body is a gift that you need to care for, for no one other than you.

Have a great week and will be offering up more posts this week…


“The greatest wealth is health.”  ~Virgil

The Evening Giggle… The Bucket List

Tonight’s movie recommendation is The Bucket List directed by Rob Reiner and it’s a movie that touched me as a sarcoma survivor and as a lover of good stories. There’s a wicked sense of humor that I think is often a requirement as a cancer survivor and a heart touching buddy story that will bring you to tears.

Two very different men dealing with terrible cancer diagnosis’s (if that’s spelled wrong, just overlook it, as it’s late and I’m tired), coming together to take on unlimited adventures from their “bucket list” and learning from each other’s differences. Roles played wonderfully by Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, with heart and humor. Added sparkle brought in by Sean Hayes playing Nicholson’s assistant, Thomas.

There are some seriously crazy stunts  and sparks flying throughout, taking you from a hospital room, fighting for survival to racing cars and skydiving on a crazy road trip.

A movie with a lot of heart and soul, as well as great belly laughs. Just the pick-me-up a person needs, as well as inspiration to live our best and biggest life.


“Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night.”  ~Terri Guillemets


Welcome to Chaotic Survivorship… A site born out of the “desire to inspire” and offering hope to those living with and beyond cancer. With a slightly (or not so slightly) twisted sense of humor, hopefully helpful advice, and stories from the battlefield to show that the fight can be won.

I want this to be all that I was looking for with my own diagnosis. I’m not even close to a doctor, but I am a seven year cancer survivor with a razor sharp wit.

Posts will be once a week, unless I get quirky and something comes to mind (which is ALWAYS possible), with that anything goes.

Enjoy the site and let’s make this fun!