When a Friend Recurs… Don’t JUST Eat Cookies

Living post cancer takes some getting used to and it takes a while to get to our new “normal” and even that becomes a strain when a friend’s cancer returns. It seems that the longer you live cancer free, the more you have to deal with friends that have their cancer recurring and unfortunately some will lose the battle. It’s a heartbreaking fact that we live with. For some of us, it’s when we start banging our heads against the wall and fear starts shooting through us. Something that logically we know can and will happen, but a fact we don’t want to face.

When my best friend’s cancer returned and sadly took her life, I was devastated because I felt that after several years that we HAD to be safe! This wasn’t supposed to happen and I was furious. Spent nearly a month just wanting to sleep and eat cookies, not wanting ANYTHING to do with the rest of the world. Living with the blind rage that I hadn’t felt since I was first diagnosed, it took nearly a year to move past it.

The bottom line is that these feelings are normal, we are human and life is delicate. When someone we care about has their cancer return it makes us question if ours will, also and it might, but we can’t allow it to paralyze us and keep us from living.

There are a few things you can do to ease the fears…

  • Don’t hide in bed (I know this first hand. I was a train wreck that just wanted to sleep and eat cookies and that did NOTHING to help). You need to get out with people and be active. Your friends will help give you the strength to move forward.
  • Understand that though the chance is always out there, your cancer won’t necessarily return because your friend’s did. It will make you aware that it can, but the future isn’t written in stone.
  • Take this time to remember that you need to take your health seriously. Being complacent isn’t going to be helpful. This is your reminder to how delicate life is.
  • Be there for your friend. You’ve been there and know what they are feeling. Give back and be grateful that you can.

These are only a few ways to move through the fear, but the best thing you can do is keep living and not hole up and hide. Being active, social, and finding someone to talk to is important. Life is a gift and if you’ve survived cancer, it’s a gift you cannot take for granted. Share sunshine and light up the world with hope.

Have a wonderful week and spread some sunshine and why not share a few cookies too… Cookies make EVERYONE happy, but you can’t live on them (though some of us try).

“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”  ~Author Unknown

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Hey Angie,

    Folks can always join a support group that consults with those who are newly diagnosed and terrified (can’t imagine why), my Oncologist has this available through their office. If someone wanted a ‘Mentor’, then they’d let the office know, and they’d assign a mentor based on what type of cancer they have. Very rewarding activity, and I only got one phone call so far. That gives me a lot of hope that maybe the type I had isn’t coming around quite so often.

    Another is to take part in a study – if applicable. I did for 5 years and no idea what they found out, but they did make a point of telling me when the study was done and thanked me profusely. Glad I was able to help with it.

    Grampa Bear

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