Chaotic Logic or Let’s Live?

Let me to clarify that this is only my opinion and clearly not everyone else’s, but I’m sure that cancer has the same affect on other survivors as well. Logically, we all know that our cancer can come back at any given time and for the first few years after NED (No Evidence of Disease) we walk on eggshells with every set of scans, but as the years go by we breathe easier.

By year five we’re getting pretty comfortable in our survivorship and with every year after that, even more comfy in it. Some of us actually start getting a bit complacent and a tad lazy in the promises that we made to ourselves when the bombshell was originally dropped.

Then one day, one of us are struck by it again… And the bottom falls out of our lives. Not only do they recur, but they lose the battle and in our mind (okay, my mind) that isn’t possible. How can this be??? We win, we don’t lose! Who can we call about this, because this is simply not acceptable? I want to know NOW! I want to talk to whoever is in charge because this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be!

Now, I’m not stupid (naïve, yes, but not stupid) and I know that my cancer can come back, but I choose not to live my life that way (I’ve got the whole denial thingy down to a science). The thing is that I forgot the promise I made to myself to LIVE. Once again, swept away by life and everything that “seems” important at the moment, instead of what really is important to living a full life.

Someone mentioned that now I know how they felt when they lost their best friend and I’d agree with that if it wasn’t for the other emotions in play here… Blind rage because we are survivors and we have ALREADY won this battle and sheer terror because we know that no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we’re good to go, it CAN come back.

Life is meant to be lived and DOING what matters is WHAT MATTERS. Tomorrow never comes and sitting on our thumbs waiting until tomorrow to make our dreams happen, doesn’t work. Now is all there is, there’s no guarantee that tomorrow will be there. Have I covered every possible cliché on the subject???

I lost my best friend a couple weeks ago and honestly NEVER saw it coming. Should have, but didn’t and now a dream was missed, but there was a promise made and THAT PROMISE will happen!

We need to stop allowing procrastination control our lives. It’s time to move full speed ahead… Anything is possible IF we keep moving forward. We can change the world if we remember to stop putting living on hold for life. Let’s live!

We can find a cure to this horrible disease and stop these losses, if we as survivors don’t stop living and don’t forget that WE ARE SURVIVORS!

Photo courtesy of http://www.freeimageslive.co.uk/

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